.

Mehhh he's not onlineee.


Red wine ftww (Y)



7 monthsss <3333




Bukaa.. ?? hmmmm




SAMMMMMM :D



Caaakkeee....




Germannn....=/





That was just a shortlist of what was running through my head as I wrote this blog =]



x

.

Sooooo.... Toby has a dog.

It's quite cute... smells TERRIBLEE thoughh...

And it steals all his attentionn hahaha


So thanks to that fluff ball... i am at home with nothing to do... boredd.. and i wants my tobyy... or more people to be online at least... kinda feel like a long chat about stupid things to someone i barely know... omegle it is... or emo kid maybee....

But dont get me wrong.. i like the dogg.. i think its more wolf like thoughh..


Hmmmm...



Mehhhh



Work again tomorrow.... 11-6 ..... yeeyyy.....


But i have sunday to look forward to :D Ice cream day with Sammm =]



Then maybe seeing Jake at some point over the weekend... but i doubt i will get time..



hmmmm...



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.

Okaiii... Last night was good... until about 9.... I now want to hurt Matt... xD

Also... Myself and my bf were ment to be having ONE night apart... not that much to ask for?? MEHHH
He came round anywayy... And as he was there my bf had a go at me for not telling him... "Should I really have to put up with this" "I'm not surprises he's here... but I am surprised Sam is here" MEHHH!!!

But I am gunna stay happyy for work :D I have too....



And OMGGG his friend was sooo drunk.. i mean... what the heelllll.... haahaaa



But yess... Yesterday myself and Saammm made a really yummy jellytot Cakee, Played guitar hero.. Made Spaghetti Bolognaise... and popcornn...and watched several horror films... including Saw 1&2 :D

Woooppp







xxx

Numbb

Hmmm... confuuuseddd :S




Like i said in my last blog.. it will be okay..


Ment to be going to the cinema tonight with toby dan karen and phillll.. don't really fancy it right now.. but im sure it will turn out to be good
Gunna see Alice in Wonderland... the new one outt.. might have to stay at tobyss??


Hmmmm.... No matter what hes still in my fucking head... And Im not sure if i even want him there! Its like an invasion of personal space!! But i cant help itt... =/



MEHHH!!




I just ate a muffinn :D Go meee!!
Might make myself have another one before i leave cause i know i wont eat anything else today... =/



x

=]

Okay i feel a little better today... not much... but a little =]
I have no idea what to do...
I'm a right skitsooo todayy :D

Feels like i'm chasing myself round in circles... ahhhhhhhhhhhh


Happy music is the way forward.. it will be okay. It will...

And y'know what?? I don't find little kids comments about my appearence funny.. in fact i don't care =] What do i give a shit what some mini twat thinks of me? And I think that he is kinda pathetic for finding it soo funny. My friends call him all sorts of stuff all the time and i don't laugh in his face about it. =]




Soo curiouss..




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.

I feel reaally weird... like angry but sad at the same time... and calm.. but not..
And everything seems to change so suddenly.
Like my opinions on people.. how i feel.. what i feel.. yes they sound the same.. but they really aren't...
and at the end of the day all i want is him.. even if he drives me up the wall.. even if we argue..
and the next thing i know im happy again.. then back how i was.. and it feels like it did before, not to the same extream.. but it does.. and i don't like it.. this one will work! it will! i love him i really do!
And i know this, because i always did. I wasnt forced into it. It was just always there.

Had an aregument today with her.. Probably shouldnt have done.. she didnt do anything wrong.. not really.. but she needs to know shes pissing me off.. i dont do the whole bitchy fake thing.. i cant just shut up..



ahh well, it will be okay.


maybe its just cause mum isnt about.. ive been alone alot.. too much time to think.. even though im with toby alot..



ii just feel like sitting in my windowsil like i used to do.. watching the world go by... trying not to think about stuff..





ii want to scream but im still calm.. things are sparking inside me but i still smile. =]


x

At toby's housee

Niommm... that food was yummyy.. karan is a good cook :D

but yess... what have ii done today... fridayy... ummm..
Schoool... this afternoon was nicee =]
lots of people over for teaa =] as in cups of teaa
that was in afternoon freess =]
ummm.. me and toby went walking again... took a tennis ball and found a big stick and played fetch for a whilee =]


now am at tobyss.. drinking wiith dan & tobyyy =]
woooopp

staying at home tonight though ii think... not sure... then work tomorrow morningg.. :(

x

oooooooooooooooooooooo

blurghhhhh YUCKK


PERIOD ==


yeahh.. soo ii had my VERY LAST EVERRR anti vagina cancer jab today =]
So yess.. hopefully no vagina cancer for mee =]

And apparentlyy ii am working tonight instead of Emilyy.. so she is working for me tomorrow... Mehh.. ii don't really care which one ii work.. and ii hope she would do the same for me... So yeahh..


zooooooooooooooooooooooooommm... thinks ii might have a cup of tea or something now.. make me feel better.. tea always makes you feel better =]

it just has that "Aaaahhhh" effectt =]






x

.

hmmm.. tis early this month? bizzaree..

ii feel like all ii am doing atm is homework...



ii wanna feel good again =/








It's not so easy loving me
It gets so complicated
All the things you gotta be
Everything's changing
But you're the truth
I'm amazed by all your patience
Everything I put you through

when I'm about to fall
Somehow you're always waiting with
Your open arms to catch me
You're gonna save me from myself
From myself, yes
You're gonna save me from myself

My love is tainted by your touch
Well some guys have shown me aces
But you've got that royal flush
I know it's crazy everyday
Well tomorrow may be shaky
But you never turn away

Don't ask me why I'm crying
'Cause when I start to crumble
You know how to keep me smiling
You always save me from myself
From myself, myself
You're gonna save me from myself

I know it's hard, it's hard
But you've broken all my walls
You've been my strength, so strong
And don't ask me why I love you

It's obvious your tenderness
Is what I need to make me
A better woman to myself
To myself, myself
You're gonna save me from myself





ii dunno why ii like that songg.. ii just do =]



x

.

Crazy moment...


okaii so last night ii went a bit weird for a while.. ii got to admit that was the angriest ii've been in a while.. god knows why.. ahh weeell


Busy dayy todayy. School, driving lesson.. extra german lesson til 5... then work =] WOOOO

and apparently there is gunaa be a table of 42 tonight :S YES!!! 42!!!
scarry.....


ahh weell.. staying at tobys tonight me thinkss.. yeeyy... then home again tomorrow morning in time to have a bath and wash my hairr... catch up on mounds of hwk in my morning free xD then just breeze through the rest of the day trying to control my hormones as best ii can =]



haahaa... ii think ii turn slightly bipolar when my hormones STRIKE each month xD
Well most likely not... but still xD



x